I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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