You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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