I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I think I died a long time ago.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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