The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
