it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
His hands were made for my vagina.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
