Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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