do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
