UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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