Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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