Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
