yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
