i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
