I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
We need to get me chipped asap
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
