How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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