It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
