420 ftw
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
