Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
