sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
