Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
