You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
