you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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