i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
