i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
