Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
