Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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