My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
