I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Randomize
