I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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