I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
