I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
