I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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