The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize