She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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