it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just want nice things and good sex
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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