My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
