That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
