He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
