the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
where are my eyebrows?
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