whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
