It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
