He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
there's paper in my vomit.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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