I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
