I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize