Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
