Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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