can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
