Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
