Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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