im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize