That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
