Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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