i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
