Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
