Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My liver just had a heart attack.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize