If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
