There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
