Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
