We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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