i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
