i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
