he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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