I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize