I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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