Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
