well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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